Or I’m Done, You’re Done, It’s Done……
Do you ever find yourself asking your child, “Are you done?” on a daily basis?
Today a light bulb went off. As a parent, I realized that I ask my child, “Are you done?” multiple times in a single day. However, I never gave thought to what my child’s response meant to anyone but me. I know what I envision “I’m done!” to mean. But, what does it mean to the person speaking those words? When my child looks me straight in the eye with a look of complete authority and self-assurance and answers, “I’m done” – does it mean he is done? Or, simply said, what does “I’m done” mean?
Today I set out to ask myself what does “I’m done!” mean? Does it mean I’ve finished the assignment to the best of my abilities and it is ready to hand in? Or, does it mean I have finished the assignment with the least possible effort and will hand it in. As is!
“I’m done!” could also mean I have finished working on my assignment for today, but tomorrow it will be completed. Or, I have not started my assignment today, but that’s OK as I will do it tomorrow.
Lastly, “I’m done!” can mean I AM DONE! I am refusing to do the assignment at all. In my opinion, the assignment is unworthy of my efforts, stupid, and I am unwilling to do it today, or at anytime here after.
As adults, we make the decision to be done a million times daily, on our own - each time, with all the meaning as stated, or others yet unidentified. Hopefully, as adults, we make the decision to be done consciously. But for children it may be hard to internalize the words that fly out of their mouth. So, parents need to ask the question directly. “What does I’m done mean to you?”
The next time you find yourself asking your child the question, take time to ask them what their answer means. The answer might surprise you. Both for the answer’s honesty and the meaning of the response you receive.
Today I said, “Is it done like your handing it in to the President? Or - is it done like I never want to see it again?” The surprising snicker that developed turned into hearty laughter. At the time, only one person in the room knew the answer. But, how fun it was to both be enlightened by the question. We both realized that either way, it was OK. Our day was done- and complete- with a simple statement. We both had a knowing look in our eyes. Complete. We’re done!
Do you ever find yourself asking your child, “Are you done?” on a daily basis?
Today a light bulb went off. As a parent, I realized that I ask my child, “Are you done?” multiple times in a single day. However, I never gave thought to what my child’s response meant to anyone but me. I know what I envision “I’m done!” to mean. But, what does it mean to the person speaking those words? When my child looks me straight in the eye with a look of complete authority and self-assurance and answers, “I’m done” – does it mean he is done? Or, simply said, what does “I’m done” mean?
Today I set out to ask myself what does “I’m done!” mean? Does it mean I’ve finished the assignment to the best of my abilities and it is ready to hand in? Or, does it mean I have finished the assignment with the least possible effort and will hand it in. As is!
“I’m done!” could also mean I have finished working on my assignment for today, but tomorrow it will be completed. Or, I have not started my assignment today, but that’s OK as I will do it tomorrow.
Lastly, “I’m done!” can mean I AM DONE! I am refusing to do the assignment at all. In my opinion, the assignment is unworthy of my efforts, stupid, and I am unwilling to do it today, or at anytime here after.
As adults, we make the decision to be done a million times daily, on our own - each time, with all the meaning as stated, or others yet unidentified. Hopefully, as adults, we make the decision to be done consciously. But for children it may be hard to internalize the words that fly out of their mouth. So, parents need to ask the question directly. “What does I’m done mean to you?”
The next time you find yourself asking your child the question, take time to ask them what their answer means. The answer might surprise you. Both for the answer’s honesty and the meaning of the response you receive.
Today I said, “Is it done like your handing it in to the President? Or - is it done like I never want to see it again?” The surprising snicker that developed turned into hearty laughter. At the time, only one person in the room knew the answer. But, how fun it was to both be enlightened by the question. We both realized that either way, it was OK. Our day was done- and complete- with a simple statement. We both had a knowing look in our eyes. Complete. We’re done!
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